Nope, life's not fair

So, I've been thinking lately that the old adage is true "Life's not fair." We don't get everything the neighbor has and we don't get it right this minute. No matter how hard we rail against life or shake our fists at the heavens, many facts in life stay the same..... No matter how hard you want to find Mr. Right, or when you think you should be able to have children, or even if you desperately want a loved one back for "just one day", it doesn't happen in our time. AND THAT DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!!

But then I think to myself "What, or better Who, would I be if I received everything I wanted? Would I care about anyone else? Would I feel empathy or be able to relate to their situation? Would I even look outside my own narrow view and lift others up? No, I don't think it would happen..... Which does make me grateful for trials..... They help us reach out. Look past ourselves. Even when our own hearts break, we are able to see through the pain and connect with those family members and friends that we are all privileged to know.

This past month we started the medical side of receiving help with starting our family. To be brief, it didn't work. There's always next month, and yes, we believe the Lord is in charge, but does that erase the pain? Nope. Does that mean I'm smiling through every step of this whole ordeal? Nope. As I said, "Life isn't fair", but in the long run, I'll be okay with that. Right now the pain is intense and at times sneaks up on me, but I'm able to take things one step at a time, one day at a time. And that's all the Lord asks of us.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

A huge mouthful, right? LOVED this book written by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows. It's an interesting read because the entire book is made up of letters written to the characters, but man is it written well. For the first time in awhile, I read a book and FELL IN LOVE with the characters..... You actually feel like you know them and understand the difficulties they felt during World War II. They are sarcastic and just plain real. Some have become my heroes.... A sure sign of a great author. Find it.

THAT couple

Yes, we are THAT couple. We have become the nerds that can't get enough of Family History. For one of our New Year's Resolutions, we decided we needed to start exploring our ancestors. Neither one of us knew a whole lot about our ancestors past our Great-Granparents. So, we decided that Sunday would be a perfect day in our crazy schedules to work on this new adventure. Needless to say, we have been blown away by what we have found. We've only been working on our Family Tree for a month, but the coolest stories have been found and I have truly come to love these people we came from. I would give a lot of money to be able to have a nice chat with a few of them. We found one of Adam's ancestors that lived in Philadelphia during the mid to late 1700's..... He was pretty influential and I would LOVE to know who he chatted with or even met on the streets! So like I said, we are THAT couple ;)

New Obsession

It's pretty ridiculous that we are SO addicted to this game. I mean, with how busy our lives are, you would think we would want to spend our time with sleep or something a little more constructive. But this game is amazing!!! You're able to put your lines onto the other player and you have items that are used to trip them up.... Anybody with a little competitive spirit has got to love that right? When we get playing, an hour can pass without us even realizing it.... I don't even want to shower or worry about anything trivial like food. After we play it, we both have the blocks and shapes running through our minds..... Is that healthy? It can't be, but you better believe I will be walking over to that Wii soon ;)

Snow Again

Well, the snow has come again. For the first time ever I am actually happy about this (Don't ask Adam, because he always loves this white stuff ;) I'm excited this time, because the air quality has been awful the past couple of weeks, so this storm is making it possible to breath again. Logan has the most beautiful mountains, but because of these great 'ole mountains, we sometimes get the worst inversions. Literally the air was liquid and the students couldn't even go outside for recess (which equals a teacher pulling their hair out ;) Now I look out my window and I can see those beautiful mountains and enjoy breathing again without a sore throat.... Very satisfying indeed!

Bumps

Life is good. TONS of blessings. Job is going well. Adam is cruising through his semester. Just cleaned the entire house, so I was productive.

And the only overwhelming feeling I have today is discouragement...... I have so many blessings and yet my heart breaks for my brother right now. He's a fantastic kid, but called us last night and told us that his dream of going on a mission will not happen. While he sobbed through his explanation, all I could think was "But, I still love you." I wonder if that is how God feels? Does he watch us make choices and then when we collapse in front of him sobbing, he says "But, I still love you" ? Does he want to hold us like I did for my brother last night, even though he was hundreds of miles away? Because I have complete faith in my Heavenly Father's love, I dare say he does. Which kind of helps the sad funk I am in today.....

Stuff and Anniversary

This past year my family was able to align schedules, and we were all able to gather in Nevada for Christmas! I was super excited and looked forward to Christmas like a little child ;) We had such a great time catching up, spending time shopping and generally eating too much..... I do love the holidays! ;) Christmas morning was really great with a little niece and nephew LOVING Christmas, Santa, and all the excitement.... my overall sentiment of the whole Holiday was peace and relaxation. EXACTLY what we needed after the craziness of the last couple of months.


















Right after Christmas, on the 29th, fell our 4th Anniversary. LOVE IT! It was Adam's turn to plan the festivities, and he did a marvelous job ;) One thing we agreed on years ago was that our Anniversary would NOT just randomly get squished between Christmas and New Years...... I still wanted it to be important. So, Adam took me to the Cheesecake Factory! I do love this man. I have been craving their fabulous food/dessert for a couple of months. We did some shopping and then headed to the temple.... a perfect way to remember our wedding day. Loved the day and REALLY love the man and all his quirkiness ;)

Then came New Year's Eve.... How is it possible 2009 has already gone by? Wicked fast year, but I find it interesting that almost everyone I talk to seems to be glad it is gone.... Poor 2009. The unwanted year ;) I have mixed feelings about '09....I have learned a lot about myself and growth has been great, but some of it has been painful and is something I'm okay leaving behind in the dusty file labeled 2009.... I guess that's the novelty of a new year, the unexpected possibilities that are waiting around the corner. With Adam graduating with his Master's Degree and a great Dr, I can't wait to see what will be in store for us