Saturday, February 28, 2009

Make me cry

Many of you may know that Adam and I have been trying for a couple of years to have a family. (That little statement has SO many emotional strings attached to it..... Why us? What can we do differently? Are we not good enough? etc, etc, etc. It goes on and on....:) Through these times, we have always had such wonderful support from friends and family. The heartache is still there, but a little while ago Adam and I decided we were not going to let this bring us down. We wanted to be able to look at the good things that were still going on in our lives. Through this mind set, I truly feel we have been able to find the millions of blessings that still flood into our lives every day. When you go through a trial, it is SO comforting to see the Lord give you a multitude of other blessings in a totally different way.

Through this mind set and several wonderful priesthood blessings, we have felt watched over and protected. Amidst this content though, I still felt like part of our reason for not having children, was because I would be such a horrible mother. (Don't mock the emotional trials of this! It is a valid concern..... Does He not trust me?....)

Anyway, Friday was a usual school day with the usual variety of craziness. At the end of the day, I had a student waiting around for her parents to get out of a meeting. She usually sticks around to help me file papers or sort things, so I wasn't thinking too much about what she was doing, until she turned around and looked right at me and said, "Mrs. Crawford, I wish you were my parent." I just froze. I seriously thought I was going to start sobbing like a little girl! ;) Now, I know her parents and I have met them a million times.....they always help out with parties, field trips, etc, so I know they are fabulous parents. All I could do was look at her and say, "If that were the case, I wouldn't mind it." She innocently asked me, "Why?" I had to laugh and responded, "Because you are a pretty great kid."

This simple statement shook me up so much, because if this 9 year old little girl wanted me as a parent, maybe I wouldn't do such a bad job. ;) These students see me 8 hours a day, through the grumpy days and the snowy days...... It was a huge compliment, which is yet another amazing blessing.....

7 comments:

Morgan Family said...

What a great compliment!!!!!!! Shari! You are amazing!!! You'll make a great Mom! I love you!!!!!!!!

Sadie said...

Awww Shari... Big hugs, girl, big hugs! You are truly an amazing woman.

Angela said...

You will be a wonderful mom Shari - that little girl knows what she is talking about. Chin up Chicka and know that I LOVE YA!

Teresa said...

That really is touching. It would make me cry, that is for sure. Dave and I tried for three years to start a family . . . it was extremely difficult to say the least for both me and Dave. I know what you mean about having all those feelings of inadequacy and maybe the good Lord doesn't want me to be a mother. . . I feel you. Dave and I were finally blessed with our little angel. We only were able to do it with the help of medical professionals and a little pill call clomid, which I am sure you have heard of. But the big clincher is that now I look back at what has taken place before getting Isabella, I can ABSOLUTELY see the Lord's hand in it. He was preparing us in many different ways to get her and hopefully other children as well. We definately didn't see it at the time, trust me. The other neat thing is that Dave and I had many years together, strengthening our marriage and just having fun with each other which a lot of couples cannot say. Anyway, I know you will be the perfect mother for your children, no doubt about it - it comes so amazingly natural to all women, that is how God intended it. Our prayers are with you guys!

Teresa and Dave

Tasha Stout said...

Sis, I know that we talked about this before, but don't ever think that the Lord is punishing you because you might be a bad parent. You will be amazing and that little boy that's waiting up there is getting antsy. Don't punish yourself with these thoughts. Know that He loves you no matter what. He's not punishing you. He's teaching you patience that you will need with this child. He's also waiting to see how you will handle this trial. We love you. You will be an awesome mommy. You know how I know that? Because your niece and her family love you. Don't forget to listen!

Anonymous said...

Hey my friend, you will make the most fabulous mother ever. At least your married!!! and have a wonderful husband. The lord will find the time to make you a mother and I will be married. But I think you will be a mother first. Your the best and i love ya tons!!!

Miller Family said...

We know you will be a good mother! But remember no mom or dad we know are perfect(and that includes us unfortunately)! We know how hard it is to wait for something we want so much but everything in it's right time. Love you!